I'm tired. Physically, mentally, spiritually.
I've been really struggling with what my life is going to amount to one day. I say I'm a Christian, but feel so inadequate in where I should be in my walk with God and my relationship with Him. I lack joy and content in Christ and I've let the worries of this world consume me.
The world seems to be on trajectory of complete destruction and melt-down. I've never imagined I'd see the level of hate and anger people have towards one another. Or just the madness of self-centerness, narcissism, and sin that just seems to consume everyone - including me. There is something deeper going on that I don't full understand and yet I see some fundamental changes in how this world is changing and the greater oppression we face. So much divisiveness and polarization in just about every hot topic.
I'm just so sick of it. I'm tired. I just want to escape and get away from everything for a while. To let things settle down. But it never will. God be merciful on me. May I find rest and comfort in you. I am weary, I am discouraged.
I don't even know how to put any of this into words that make sense.